Tonight I was driving home from Aaron's, not paying much attention to the road at all and mostly just staring at the moon. I've always felt some sort of strange magnetism to the moon. Maybe it's all the water that makes me up or maybe I'm destined to be an astronaut, but it's just always been something I've been drawn to. One of my favorite things to do is drive at night, looking at the moon, thinking. It's so big and far, and I'm so... tethered to the Earth, insignificant and small. It helps me put me and my problems in perspective, but it also makes me kind of sad. How is my life going to matter in the scheme of things?
Anyway, that ended up sounding a bit more depressing than I meant it to, but I've been thinking a lot lately. I've had some really good, figuratively ass-kicking (my ass, btw) conversations in the past few days. Conversations that have helped me see that I've been somewhat of a sub-par human being lately. Not that I'm a bad person, or looking for reassurance that I'm not a bad person, but I haven't been treating the people I care about as well as they treat me. And I want to fix that; I want to love people better, live with more passion, not let time slip through my fingers. I thought a good way to start that would be to restart this blog. I think I love who I was when I started this. A lot of new things were happening in my life and it was just a really wonderful time, and I was a good friend and participated in life more instead of just watching it. I want to be all of that again.
So it's the start of summer. I just graduated high school... I don't think I've ever been more terrified about the future in my life. But right now I'm listening to Two Suns by Bat for Lashes spin on my record player and it's warm and I'm calm and the world right now seems to be peaceful. Let's see how it feels in the morning.
(ps the photo looks better when you click on it)
