Suffice it to say, it's been a rough week.
What's awesome though is that all the crappy feelings and butterflies in the stomach and other things made me and Christine spend a LOT of time together. Which made me really happy, because we hadn't spent that much time together in... God knows how long. I love Christine so much, and I'm going to miss her a lot when I transfer. She's just... a really wonderful person. I'mmm gonna try to hold my tears in now. Hold on a second.
Ok. I'm good. Anyway, on Saturday she took me to this pipeline in/on the James River, and it was really cool when there were railings (such as in this photo) and really scary when there weren't (and thus I was focusing on not falling into the water and soaking all of my valuables, and not taking pictures). And I didn't really get many good ones, probably because I'm ridiculously rusty because I haven't gone on a photoshoot since... AP Photo. I take so many pictures like this one, and get so excited because for me, there's something really intriguing about lots of lines leading to one point. But I always, always forget a focal point, something for the eye to be drawn to, or else it's just... a background. And I think that says a lot about me. I think about the future in general, the fact that it's there, the fact that the things I'm doing are leading to it, but I find it hard to think of something concrete in there. Like I know I'm going to grow up and do something, but I have no idea what. I have little to no idea what I want to major in, much less what I actually want to do with my life. I know that I want to be happy and make the people around me happy, but I don't know how to accomplish this. I know a lot of the people I get close to will most likely drift away due to distance or differences, but I have a hard time imagining it or accepting it when it comes.
So yeah, that's actually one of the first thoughts that came to my mind when I looked at that picture. I didn't try to BS something thoughtful to say so I could use it in a blog post.
As for last week, I'm trying my hardest to accept what life throws at me and trying not to think too much about the past and trying to look at things with different perspectives. Trying not to be so self-centered. Trying to get these goddamn butterflies in my stomach to settle.
